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Putting the Children First during Divorce

Posted on in Child Custody & Visitation

California divorce attorney, California mediation attorneyDivorce does not only affect the married couple that is splitting; it systematically changes the dynamic of everyone with any relationship with them. From the family members that must adjust to how to maintain communication without stepping on toes to the friends that must now divide their friendship between the two separate entities, the entire situation must be treated delicately. Arguably the most significant relationship to consider is that of the children. Some kids are better equipped to handle the struggle, however, at any age, divorcing parents can be life-altering. Mediation lessens the negative results encountered with divorce.

Effects on Divorce and Children

Countless studies have investigated the effects that divorce has on children. Although it is impossible not to have any lasting mark, the goal is to minimize the negative repercussions. Their little lives rest entirely in your hands, including their emotional and psychological well-being. Studies found the following effects:

  • Divorce itself has minimal effects on the children. However, the uncertainty and the level of conflict between parents can leave lasting consequences,
  • Children under the age of nine are more likely to either blame themselves or wish their parents would get back together,
  • Older children react more independently and may become resentful or rebellious,
  • In a civilized divorce, children learn conflict-resolution and self-strength, and
  • Children recover quickly, and most go on to become well-adjusted teenagers and adults.

Minimize the Effects

The negativity during the divorce proceedings can lead to the most lasting trauma. Therefore, it is essential to put the children first and make the divorce as peaceful as possible. As much as it may make you feel better at the moment to blow up, saying everything that is on your mind, or even talking badly about your ex-spouse with friends in front of your children is discouraged.

Also gaining in popularity is the idea of mediation instead of divorce proceedings. Recent years have found that mediation is an excellent opportunity to sort out your problems between the two of you and civilly come to an agreement, rather than allowing a judge to determine what to do with the debts, assets and child arrangements. Not only do you maintain control of the situation, but it also leads to a more amicable divorce as you must agree together how to settle everything. Whether it takes one session or multiple, this cost saving option is proven to be better psychologically than divorce litigation.

If you are in the midst of a divorce and would like to discuss your case with an experienced and understanding San Jose, CA mediation attorney, contact Ventresca Law Firm today at 408-395-8822 to schedule your free initial consultation.

 

Sources:

http://www.children-and-divorce.com/effects-of-divorce-on-children.html

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/

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