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Law Offices of Benita Ventresca408-395-8822
20 S. Santa Cruz Ave., Suite 212, Los Gatos, CA 95030
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Mediation and Litigation

How to Handle a High-Conflict Ex in Your Family Law Case

Posted on in Divorce

California divorce lawyerMany people seek a divorce because they are tired of fighting with their spouse. Once they begin the divorce process, which typically includes property division, child custody, and setting support, they see that many more fights may be in store.

Perhaps it is the case that the other spouse is taking a tense situation and adding fuel to the fire. These spouses are considered to be high-conflict, and it can feel like there is no way out but to put up a fight.

However, a Cupertino divorce attorney has dealt with many high-conflict cases and understands how family law proceedings should be handled to minimize fighting. Here are some tips on how to manage a high-conflict ex.

  1. Consider mediation. Mediation can be a great tool for high-conflict Cupertino divorces. Whereas court proceedings tend to be fragmented, setting up the pattern of fight after fight, mediation treats the divorce in a more holistic manner. Couples are encouraged to look at the big picture, which can lead to more room for compromise.
    In addition, mediators have additional tools available to them. For example, they can remind the parties that the children of the marriage are the primary concern of the proceedings. In court proceedings, a judge or attorney may not prioritize this type of thinking.
  2. Know what you can control. If your ex is stirring the pot, you must understand that his or her behavior is outside your control. You can control how you react and how the high-conflict person affects you and your children.
  3. Explain your limits to your ex. It is key to set boundaries for interactions with your high-conflict ex. For example, you should tell him or her when you are available to discuss any given issue and stick to those boundaries. If your ex tries to call or text after your times of availability or use abusive language, tell them your phone will be off and you will not be responsive.

A Los Gatos/Cupertino Family Lawyer Can Help Diffuse a High-Conflict Case

If your ex is making your family law proceedings more difficult than they should be, you do not have to go through this process alone. A family law attorney can be your advocate in court. Also, mediation may be the best avenue to resolve your dispute given the benefits that mediation provides.

Call the skilled Los Gatos family law attorney at the Ventresca Law Firm at 408-395-8822 to learn more about your options. We serve clients in the Los Gatos, Sunnyvale, Saratoga, Cupertino, and San Jose areas.



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Los Gatos, CA 95030

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