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California mediation lawyer, California divorce attorneyPerhaps you are in the middle of divorce conversations. Maybe you were just served divorce papers out of the blue when you thought everything in your marriage was normal. Maybe you finally have had enough and are ready to call it quits but have not dropped that bomb on your significant other. In any of these situations, it is very likely that you have questions and are out exploring information. Even if you have gone through a divorce before, the culture and the divorce experience itself have changed and become something of a healing process. Yes, the marriage is over, but the split does not have to be emotionally scarring. Many couples that choose divorce are opting to go with the “friendly” divorce option, known as divorce mediation.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a divorce option where, instead of going in front of a judge to have them iron out the details of your divorce, you and your spouse, together with your mediator, sit down in a room together and decide what works best for you and your situation.

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Posted on in Property Division

California divorce lawyer, California family law attorneyDuring a divorce, everything that constitutes a marriage must split into two separate lives. While this is a natural process for some couples and even for select assets, for others, the disunion is much more complicated. Occasionally, the bond that ties the two may not ever be entirely separated, such as those with children. In other scenarios, the large assets of property division are where contentions arise. The most common question asked by couples struggling with the last scenario pertains directly to the most significant investment many couples make: who gets to keep the house?

What Is the Purchase Date of the Home?

Believe it or not, the purchase date, or closing date, of a home, can make a large difference as to who gets to keep the home. Consider that California is a community property state, meaning all items purchased and investments made during the marital union all belong to both parties equally as “community property.” Anything owned before the marriage began, after filing the divorce papers, or any items earned outside of the marriage, all are “separate property.” Separate property stays with the owner after the finalization of the divorce. However, this is not a certainty as other factors may play a factor, such as mortgage payments, improvements, and maintenance. Occasionally, a separate property home becomes community property with the right investments.

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California mediation attorney, California divorce lawyerDivorce is emotional and stressful for everyone in the family, children included. Many times, children internalize their emotions and wrongfully blame themselves for the divorce. Thoughts such as, “I was bad, so my parent left us” or “They did not love me anymore either” race through their still forming minds. As adults, we know better, but it is tough for children to comprehend that the decision did not come as a result of anything they did, or did not, do. Additionally, if you share an infant child, the first year is imperative for long-term bonding. New studies show that overnight stays for children whose parents are divorced have essential benefits, leading many parents to change their child custody arrangements.

Old Beliefs

For a substantial length of history, it was the idea that younger children, especially under the age of two, suffer emotional damage by staying overnight with noncustodial parents. Psychologists believed that this time apart leads to the breakdown of consistency, trust, and security leading to irreparable harm to the parent-child relationship. Researchers concluded that infants and toddlers needed to understand that you were there for them, every time, without question to build a healthy and lasting bond. They thought that a routine of sleeping in the same place every night with the same routine built trust and a sense of security, promoting better sleeping habits and enhancing self-soothing capabilities.

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California mediation attorney, California divorce lawyerDivorce does not need to be a long, drawn out, or traumatic experience. Most people have enough stress in their daily lives that the thought of divorce is overwhelming. The idea of standing up in public forum senselessly arguing every minute detail and dirty secret is not appealing for most couples. The apprehension forces many unhappy couples to stay together creating more damage to the family dynamic and emotional state. Another option is divorce mediation. Here, issues are civilly discussed behind closed doors, resulting in a long-lasting solution on which everyone can agree.

Who Is Best Suited?

There is no “one-size-fits-all” method to divorce. In some situations, the property lines and boundaries are so complicated that it takes an expert to sort out property distribution. In other cases, the parties have not spoken in years, and there is no unity to untangle. Circumstances are different under each roof, requiring various alternatives to divide a marriage or a domestic partnership. Divorce mediation works best for:

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Posted on in Divorce

California mediation attorney, California divorce lawyerWhen you face divorce proceedings with your spouse, you have options on how you may go about the process. First, the least expensive and least stressful alternative for many couples is divorce mediation. However, this option is not appropriate for all cases. The good news is if you attempt mediation and the process is unsuccessful, your case is still eligible for a hearing in front of a judge. At this point, you give up all maintenance of power, and the judge has the capability to order whatever they see fit on all aspects, from property distribution to child arrangements. Is the judge’s determination “the end” or are you able to revisit the decision?

Options for Appeal

Dependant on the circumstances surrounding your case, you may be eligible to appeal the decision of the court. Meaning the verdict did not go in your favor, and you would like to have it reexamined in some way. Three different motions for civil appeal include:

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