Unless you and your spouse experienced a brief marriage, have no children and no joint property, divorce litigation is not inexpensive. Even in an uncontested divorce, a couple must consider the cost of the filing fees as well as court costs. In an uncontested divorce where both parties approve the requests made in the divorce petition, court time may not be necessary, and the divorce should be official after six months. However, in instances where splitting spouses cannot agree upon the petition, the court gets involved which can increase the costs. Many seeking divorce search for a lower cost option leading a growing portion of the population choosing divorce mediation.

The Financial Truth of Divorce Litigation

In most scenarios of divorce litigation, there is the basic cost of each party with their attorney. In many more tangled matrimonial webs, there may be the additional costs of experts, such as those to determine who is best for providing for the children, appraisals, and business evaluators. The financial cost of going to court can easily reach into the five-digit range. The number increases exponentially if the two parties are unable to agree or emotions run high. Emotions left unchecked lead to an abundance of motion filings and, therefore, higher legal fees.

Divorce is emotional and stressful for everyone in the family, children included. Many times, children internalize their emotions and wrongfully blame themselves for the divorce. Thoughts such as, “I was bad, so my parent left us” or “They did not love me anymore either” race through their still forming minds. As adults, we know better, but it is tough for children to comprehend that the decision did not come as a result of anything they did, or did not, do. Additionally, if you share an infant child, the first year is imperative for long-term bonding. New studies show that overnight stays for children whose parents are divorced have essential benefits, leading many parents to change their child custody arrangements.

Old Beliefs

For a substantial length of history, it was the idea that younger children, especially under the age of two, suffer emotional damage by staying overnight with noncustodial parents. Psychologists believed that this time apart leads to the breakdown of consistency, trust, and security leading to irreparable harm to the parent-child relationship. Researchers concluded that infants and toddlers needed to understand that you were there for them, every time, without question to build a healthy and lasting bond. They thought that a routine of sleeping in the same place every night with the same routine built trust and a sense of security, promoting better sleeping habits and enhancing self-soothing capabilities.

Divorce does not need to be a long, drawn out, or traumatic experience. Most people have enough stress in their daily lives that the thought of divorce is overwhelming. The idea of standing up in public forum senselessly arguing every minute detail and dirty secret is not appealing for most couples. The apprehension forces many unhappy couples to stay together creating more damage to the family dynamic and emotional state. Another option is divorce mediation. Here, issues are civilly discussed behind closed doors, resulting in a long-lasting solution on which everyone can agree.

Who Is Best Suited?

There is no “one-size-fits-all” method to divorce. In some situations, the property lines and boundaries are so complicated that it takes an expert to sort out property distribution. In other cases, the parties have not spoken in years, and there is no unity to untangle. Circumstances are different under each roof, requiring various alternatives to divide a marriage or a domestic partnership. Divorce mediation works best for:

When you face divorce proceedings with your spouse, you have options on how you may go about the process. First, the least expensive and least stressful alternative for many couples is divorce mediation. However, this option is not appropriate for all cases. The good news is if you attempt mediation and the process is unsuccessful, your case is still eligible for a hearing in front of a judge. At this point, you give up all maintenance of power, and the judge has the capability to order whatever they see fit on all aspects, from property distribution to child arrangements. Is the judge’s determination “the end” or are you able to revisit the decision?

Options for Appeal

Dependant on the circumstances surrounding your case, you may be eligible to appeal the decision of the court. Meaning the verdict did not go in your favor, and you would like to have it reexamined in some way. Three different motions for civil appeal include:

Perhaps you and your spouse sat down and shared a lengthy conversation about what is wrong in the marriage and determined the situation as irreparable. On the other hand, maybe you knew that there were difficulties, but assumed there was nothing you could not work out together. No matter the situation leading to this point, nothing adequately prepares you for the moment you receive divorce papers, even if you saw it coming. What happens next? Do you have to reply? What happens if you refuse? These questions and more often come to the forefront of thought during this time.

The Papers