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CA family lawyerThe end of a marriage can be an emotionally difficult time for everyone involved, but teens often struggle to adjust to their parents’ divorce. Teenage children of divorcing parents may experience issues such as depression, academic difficulties, behavioral problems, substance abuse, and involvement in sexual activity.

As a parent, you want what is best for your children, and you can help teenagers cope with the changes in their lives in the following ways:

  • Listen to their concerns - Teenagers are likely to worry about the future, so you should encourage them to talk to you about their feelings. Offer them love and support, letting them know that it is okay to feel sadness, anger, or grief, and helping them express these feelings in a healthy manner.
  • Maintain a consistent routine - A sense of consistency is beneficial for children, so sticking to regular schedules for activities can help them maintain a sense of normalcy as they are going through changes to their lives. Try to make sure that both parents continue to participate in activities with them as you did prior to your break-up.
  • Encourage a relationship with the other parent - It is important for children to maintain a good relationship with both parents, so you should encourage them to communicate and maintain a close bond with the other parent and avoid criticizing or undermining your ex in front of them.
  • Keep children away from conflict - Parents should do everything they can to keep children from being involved in any arguments or disputes during or after divorce. Never try to make your children choose between you and your ex or ask them to spy on the other parent.
  • Avoid oversharing - When discussing your divorce with your children, be honest, but talk to them in an age-appropriate manner. Avoid laying blame for the divorce or providing too much detail. While it may be tempting to confide in them about your own emotional issues or your dating life after your divorce, do not rely on them for emotional support.
  • Seek professional help - If children experience negative effects at school or at home as they adjust to their new reality, it can be beneficial for them to work with a therapist or counselor who can help them understand how to deal with the emotional issues they are experiencing.

Contact a Los Gatos Family Law Attorney

During and after your divorce, you will want to be sure to protect your children’s best interests and help them come to terms with the changes they are experiencing in their lives. If you need help addressing the legal issues that must be resolved as you work to finalize your divorce, the Law Offices of Benita Ventresca can answer your questions and help you reach a favorable outcome. Contact a Los Gatos, CA divorce lawyer at 408-395-8822 to set up a free consultation.


CA custody attorneyEnding a marriage through divorce is often best for all family members, including parents and children, since it can eliminate conflict and tension in a home where a couple’s relationship has broken down. However, parents and children often struggle to adjust to their new reality following divorce, and continuing conflict between parents can make things difficult for everyone. Since both parents want what is best for their children, they should try to work together even after they are no longer married, cooperating to raise their children. Here are some tips for avoiding common mistakes that parents make during and after divorce:

Maintain consistency - It is best for children to have a consistent routine and expectations at both parents’ homes. Following regular schedules for meals, baths, chores, and bedtimes can help them avoid uncertainty. Parents should also work together to ensure that they follow similar rules and disciplinary procedures at both houses.

Avoid competition between parents - Parents should not spoil or overindulge their children in an attempt to influence their children’s preferences between parents. It is also important to avoid speaking negatively about the other parent, criticizing their disciplinary choices, or overriding their rules.


CA divorce lawyerThe end of a marriage is difficult, whether a couple experiences a contentious break-up or an amicable split. Separating yourself from your former spouse and embarking on a new phase of your life as a single person can be a daunting prospect, and it is understandable to feel a great deal of anxiety and stress during this time. However, it is important to take care of yourself during your divorce, and this time of change provides you with a great chance to build a foundation of good self-care that will help you thrive. Here are five tips to follow as you build a new life for yourself:

  • Stay positive - It makes sense to feel a great deal of emotional turmoil about the end of your marriage, but it is best to avoid being consumed by negative emotions like anger, sadness, or guilt. Instead, try to focus on the positive, looking at the good things you do have and the things you have accomplished while feeling compassionate toward yourself and reminding yourself that you have the strength to get through this difficult time.
  • Keep yourself active - You may feel lonely in your newly-single life, and it can be easy to withdraw during this time and spend time by yourself. However, this can lead to unhealthy behavior or depression. Creating and following new routines and keeping yourself moving can help you avoid a sense of being stuck in one place, and getting out of the house to exercise or participate in activities can help avoid feelings of isolation.
  • Take care of your health - It is very important to pay attention to your physical health as you begin this new stage of your life. Make sure to eat healthy foods and get plenty of exercise. Living a healthy lifestyle is not only good for your body, but it can greatly benefit your mental health as well.
  • Be involved in your community - Now that you are no longer married, you may have more spare time, and this is a great chance to participate in hobbies or activities you enjoy, learn new skills, and connect with others that share your interests. Signing up for classes, joining a club, or volunteering at a charitable organization are all great ways to be involved in your community.
  • Connect with friends and family - Close friends and family members can provide important emotional support when you need it, so be sure to reach out to others when you need help. This is a good chance to reconnect with those you may have lost touch with during your marriage or cultivate new relationships.

Contact a Los Gatos Divorce Attorney

If you are planning to end your marriage in divorce, or if you have separated from your spouse and need to complete the divorce process, the Law Offices of Benita Ventresca can provide you with the legal help you need. We will work with you to address the legal issues that must be resolved and help you reach an outcome that protects your family’s best interests. Contact a Los Gatos, CA family law attorney today by calling 408-395-8822 to arrange a free consultation.


Posted on in Divorce

CA divorce lawyerIn an ideal situation, marriage is a partnership between two equally-committed individuals who treat each other with love and respect. Unfortunately, however, abusive relationships are all too common, and they can lead to a spouse suffering a great deal of physical, emotional, and mental harm. While the signs of physical abuse may seem easy to recognize, emotional abuse is much more subtle, and victims of this type of abuse may not realize how much they are affected by this type of negative treatment by their spouse. If you recognize any of the following signs in your own relationship, you may want to consider whether ending your marriage through divorce is the best option for you and your family:

  • Walking on eggshells - Do you feel like you always have to tread lightly to avoid angering or upsetting your spouse? A feeling of constant anxiety that anything you might say or do could cause your partner to become offended, disappointed, or angry is a sign of abuse.
  • Feelings of shame or guilt - Abusers will often try to make their victims them believe that they are not worthy of love or blame them for things that are not their fault. An abusive spouse may try to make you feel bad about yourself or claim that nobody else would love you.
  • Emotional manipulation - Abusive spouses often try to manipulate their victims’ emotions in a variety of ways, such as withholding affection until they get what they want, acting hurt to make their partner feel sorry for them, or refusing to acknowledge their partner’s accomplishments.
  • Gaslighting - One of the most severe and insidious forms of emotional manipulation occurs when an abuser makes their victim doubt their own memories and feelings, often by lying about things that they said or did. By causing their partner to question their sense of reality, an abuser gains control in the relationship.
  • Constant criticism - Emotional abuse can take the form of verbally tearing a person down, either through explicitly belittling a person or by making disparaging comments in the form of jokes or backhanded compliments.
  • Jealousy - Does your spouse always want to know where you are and who you are with? Do they require you to constantly check in when you are away from them? These forms of jealousy are another method that an abuser may use to control their spouse.
  • Isolation - Does your spouse refuse to let you spend time away from them with your friends? Have they tried to convince you to cut off contact with certain family members? Isolating a victim from people who could offer emotional support is a common way abusers attempt to maintain control over their partners.

Contact a Los Gatos, CA Family Law Attorney

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may feel that you have no options and no way to escape, especially if your spouse controls your finances or earns the majority of your family’s income. However, you deserve to live a life free of abuse, and you have the right to leave a bad situation and get help. At the Law Offices of Benita Ventresca, we will work with you to protect your rights and help you get the resources you need during a divorce involving an abusive spouse. Contact our Los Gatos divorce lawyer at 408-395-8822 to schedule a free consultation.


CA divorce attorneyWhen parents decide to end their marriage, they will likely put a great deal of thought into how their minor children will be affected. In addition to determining how the issues of child custody and visitation will be resolved during divorce, parents often work together to provide their children with emotional support and reassurance, helping them adjust to their new reality of splitting time between two separate households.

Parents of adult children who no longer live at home may not have as many legal issues to resolve during divorce, but they should still be aware of the impact that the end of their marriage will have on the members of their family. Adult children of divorce are often affected in the following ways:

  • Emotional reactions - Parents may believe that children who have established themselves as adults will be less affected by their divorce, but it is important to understand that they will still be likely to feel a great deal of anger and sadness, and they may need some time to adjust to their parents’ new situation.
  • Commitment issues - Children whose parents have divorced are often hesitant to enter new relationships, or they may remain in a bad relationship because they are afraid to repeat their parents’ mistakes.
  • Taking sides - Parents of minor children often work to keep kids from being involved in conflict, but parents of adult children may feel they can be more open about the reasons their marriage failed. This can cause children to feel like they need to choose one parent over the other, which can damage their relationship with both parents.
  • Acting as a confidant - Parents may feel that they can confide in their adult children and lean on them for support. However, a lack of clear boundaries can result in a great deal of stress and anxiety for children.
  • Concerns about the future - The instability that results from divorce will likely cause children to worry about their parents’ ability to financially support themselves, who will care for them as they get older, and how inheritance issues will be handled.

Contact a Los Gatos Divorce Lawyer

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20 S. Santa Cruz Ave., Suite 212
Los Gatos, CA 95030

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