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Law Offices of Benita Ventresca408-395-8822
20 S. Santa Cruz Ave., Suite 212, Los Gatos, CA 95030
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Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Marriage

Posted on in Divorce

CA divorce lawyerIn an ideal situation, marriage is a partnership between two equally-committed individuals who treat each other with love and respect. Unfortunately, however, abusive relationships are all too common, and they can lead to a spouse suffering a great deal of physical, emotional, and mental harm. While the signs of physical abuse may seem easy to recognize, emotional abuse is much more subtle, and victims of this type of abuse may not realize how much they are affected by this type of negative treatment by their spouse. If you recognize any of the following signs in your own relationship, you may want to consider whether ending your marriage through divorce is the best option for you and your family:

  • Walking on eggshells - Do you feel like you always have to tread lightly to avoid angering or upsetting your spouse? A feeling of constant anxiety that anything you might say or do could cause your partner to become offended, disappointed, or angry is a sign of abuse.
  • Feelings of shame or guilt - Abusers will often try to make their victims them believe that they are not worthy of love or blame them for things that are not their fault. An abusive spouse may try to make you feel bad about yourself or claim that nobody else would love you.
  • Emotional manipulation - Abusive spouses often try to manipulate their victims’ emotions in a variety of ways, such as withholding affection until they get what they want, acting hurt to make their partner feel sorry for them, or refusing to acknowledge their partner’s accomplishments.
  • Gaslighting - One of the most severe and insidious forms of emotional manipulation occurs when an abuser makes their victim doubt their own memories and feelings, often by lying about things that they said or did. By causing their partner to question their sense of reality, an abuser gains control in the relationship.
  • Constant criticism - Emotional abuse can take the form of verbally tearing a person down, either through explicitly belittling a person or by making disparaging comments in the form of jokes or backhanded compliments.
  • Jealousy - Does your spouse always want to know where you are and who you are with? Do they require you to constantly check in when you are away from them? These forms of jealousy are another method that an abuser may use to control their spouse.
  • Isolation - Does your spouse refuse to let you spend time away from them with your friends? Have they tried to convince you to cut off contact with certain family members? Isolating a victim from people who could offer emotional support is a common way abusers attempt to maintain control over their partners.

Contact a Los Gatos, CA Family Law Attorney

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may feel that you have no options and no way to escape, especially if your spouse controls your finances or earns the majority of your family’s income. However, you deserve to live a life free of abuse, and you have the right to leave a bad situation and get help. At the Law Offices of Benita Ventresca, we will work with you to protect your rights and help you get the resources you need during a divorce involving an abusive spouse. Contact our Los Gatos divorce lawyer at 408-395-8822 to schedule a free consultation.



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Law Offices of Benita Ventresca

20 S. Santa Cruz Ave., Suite 212
Los Gatos, CA 95030

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