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Los Gatos divorce mediation attorneyDivorce mediation can be an excellent avenue for couples to reach compromises on the various issues that must be addressed in order to dissolve their marriage. Since courtroom litigation can cost both parties valuable time and money, mediation is a popular alternative, and it can allow a couple to address and resolve each individual aspect of their divorce with the help of a trained and licensed mediator. While divorce mediation can be beneficial for divorcing couples and their children, there are times when the process can stall, and in some cases, it may fail altogether, requiring spouses to find alternative ways of resolving their disputes.

Signs That Mediation Is Not Working For You 

Mediation can take some time to complete, especially when you need to address multiple complex issues related to your children, your property, and your finances. However, there are a number of signs that the mediation process has broken down and is not working. For example, one spouse may consistently make personal attacks during mediation, use mediation time to voice frustration and anger over the divorce, or refuse to remain on topic when discussing issues. If you have spent a number of hours in mediation and have failed to reach an agreement on many of the remaining issues that you need to resolve, it may be time to pursue an alternative resolution strategy. 

What Are My Options? 

If you and your spouse are finding the mediation process difficult, you may want to consider taking a break before resuming discussions. In many cases, stepping away from the process can provide a new perspective for both parties, and this can lead to more constructive discussions at a later date. If you feel unhappy with the process because of the compromises you are required to make, you should take a look at whether your spouse is also making compromises. If it seems as though you are the only one who is willing to give any ground, and your spouse is refusing to meet you halfway, then you may need to find other alternatives for resolving your disputes. 

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Posted on in Divorce

Los Gatos divorce mediation lawyerWhen you choose to get a divorce, that decision can result in a variety of challenges for the whole family. Not only will you have to grapple with the legal and practical issues involved in ending your marriage, but your children have to accept that you and your ex-spouse will no longer be living together or married to each other. The divorce process can be incredibly stressful for children. Litigating a divorce in the courtroom can not only increase the level of conflict between spouses, but it may also lead to potentially frightening court appearances for children. Fortunately, divorce mediation is an alternative method of resolving divorce issues, and it can benefit the entire family. 

Mediation and Children 

During the mediation process, you and your ex-spouse will work with a third-party mediator to talk through the issues surrounding your divorce and reach a settlement that you can both be satisfied with. This process can be incredibly beneficial in resolving matters related to child custody. These benefits include: 

  • The Child’s Voice Matters: Mediation will give you and your spouse complete control over the final decisions made throughout the divorce process. In cases involving child custody, this means that your child’s wishes can be communicated easily and can be taken into consideration. You want what is best for your children, and mediation provides you with a greater opportunity to address their wishes and ensure that the two of you will be able to meet their needs. 

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Los Gatos Unpaid Child Support Lawyer

Many people consider their pets to be like their own children, so what happens to the family pet when couples divorce? In the past, pets would be treated like any other non-living property in a California divorce. Though previously given the same consideration as a piece of furniture or a car, the understanding that people share special relationships with their pets prompted California lawmakers to change how pet custody is treated.

A law passed last year dictates that the well-being of an animal or animals owned by a couple must be considered when parties cannot agree on who will keep the animals following divorce. California was the third state in the U.S. to pass such a law, and it went into effect on January 1 of this year.

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CA divorce lawyerThe end of a marriage is difficult, whether a couple experiences a contentious break-up or an amicable split. Separating yourself from your former spouse and embarking on a new phase of your life as a single person can be a daunting prospect, and it is understandable to feel a great deal of anxiety and stress during this time. However, it is important to take care of yourself during your divorce, and this time of change provides you with a great chance to build a foundation of good self-care that will help you thrive. Here are five tips to follow as you build a new life for yourself:

  • Stay positive - It makes sense to feel a great deal of emotional turmoil about the end of your marriage, but it is best to avoid being consumed by negative emotions like anger, sadness, or guilt. Instead, try to focus on the positive, looking at the good things you do have and the things you have accomplished while feeling compassionate toward yourself and reminding yourself that you have the strength to get through this difficult time.
  • Keep yourself active - You may feel lonely in your newly-single life, and it can be easy to withdraw during this time and spend time by yourself. However, this can lead to unhealthy behavior or depression. Creating and following new routines and keeping yourself moving can help you avoid a sense of being stuck in one place, and getting out of the house to exercise or participate in activities can help avoid feelings of isolation.
  • Take care of your health - It is very important to pay attention to your physical health as you begin this new stage of your life. Make sure to eat healthy foods and get plenty of exercise. Living a healthy lifestyle is not only good for your body, but it can greatly benefit your mental health as well.
  • Be involved in your community - Now that you are no longer married, you may have more spare time, and this is a great chance to participate in hobbies or activities you enjoy, learn new skills, and connect with others that share your interests. Signing up for classes, joining a club, or volunteering at a charitable organization are all great ways to be involved in your community.
  • Connect with friends and family - Close friends and family members can provide important emotional support when you need it, so be sure to reach out to others when you need help. This is a good chance to reconnect with those you may have lost touch with during your marriage or cultivate new relationships.

Contact a Los Gatos Divorce Attorney

If you are planning to end your marriage in divorce, or if you have separated from your spouse and need to complete the divorce process, the Law Offices of Benita Ventresca can provide you with the legal help you need. We will work with you to address the legal issues that must be resolved and help you reach an outcome that protects your family’s best interests. Contact a Los Gatos, CA family law attorney today by calling 408-395-8822 to arrange a free consultation.

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b2ap3_thumbnail_mediation_20171101-034651_1.jpgCalifornia custody lawyerTelevision and film are rich with depictions of litigation, courtrooms, and righteous legal prose. In film, there are the many adaptations of novels written by author John Grisham, including The Firm, The Client, and The Pelican Brief, among others. On television, there are How to Get Away With Murder, Suits, and, perhaps the all-time most well-known show, Law and Order. A common thread among all these many narratives is the element of confrontation.

The reason for this commonality is the adversarial nature of litigation. Whether between a state prosecutor and a local criminal defense attorney or between a tort litigator and the defense counsel in a civil court, the parties are fighting for the outcome that best serves their interests. As human beings, we are wired to be interested in competition and conflict in the social world, as these activities have much to with power – a resource central to so many of the activities of society, whether in the U.S. or abroad. An experienced Los Gatos mediation attorney, however, knows that mediation and compromise may succeed where competition and conflict fail.

Bay Area Wealth and Property Values Bear on Matters of Mediation

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Law Offices of Benita Ventresca

20 S. Santa Cruz Ave., Suite 212
Los Gatos, CA 95030

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