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CA divorce lawyerThe end of a marriage is difficult, whether a couple experiences a contentious break-up or an amicable split. Separating yourself from your former spouse and embarking on a new phase of your life as a single person can be a daunting prospect, and it is understandable to feel a great deal of anxiety and stress during this time. However, it is important to take care of yourself during your divorce, and this time of change provides you with a great chance to build a foundation of good self-care that will help you thrive. Here are five tips to follow as you build a new life for yourself:

  • Stay positive - It makes sense to feel a great deal of emotional turmoil about the end of your marriage, but it is best to avoid being consumed by negative emotions like anger, sadness, or guilt. Instead, try to focus on the positive, looking at the good things you do have and the things you have accomplished while feeling compassionate toward yourself and reminding yourself that you have the strength to get through this difficult time.
  • Keep yourself active - You may feel lonely in your newly-single life, and it can be easy to withdraw during this time and spend time by yourself. However, this can lead to unhealthy behavior or depression. Creating and following new routines and keeping yourself moving can help you avoid a sense of being stuck in one place, and getting out of the house to exercise or participate in activities can help avoid feelings of isolation.
  • Take care of your health - It is very important to pay attention to your physical health as you begin this new stage of your life. Make sure to eat healthy foods and get plenty of exercise. Living a healthy lifestyle is not only good for your body, but it can greatly benefit your mental health as well.
  • Be involved in your community - Now that you are no longer married, you may have more spare time, and this is a great chance to participate in hobbies or activities you enjoy, learn new skills, and connect with others that share your interests. Signing up for classes, joining a club, or volunteering at a charitable organization are all great ways to be involved in your community.
  • Connect with friends and family - Close friends and family members can provide important emotional support when you need it, so be sure to reach out to others when you need help. This is a good chance to reconnect with those you may have lost touch with during your marriage or cultivate new relationships.

Contact a Los Gatos Divorce Attorney

If you are planning to end your marriage in divorce, or if you have separated from your spouse and need to complete the divorce process, the Law Offices of Benita Ventresca can provide you with the legal help you need. We will work with you to address the legal issues that must be resolved and help you reach an outcome that protects your family’s best interests. Contact a Los Gatos, CA family law attorney today by calling 408-395-8822 to arrange a free consultation.

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California family lawyerDuring their parents’ divorce, children often experience a great deal of emotional turmoil, and the stress of living in a high-conflict home, uncertainty about the future, and difficulty adjusting to new living arrangements can lead to short-term and long-term physical and mental health issues. Even though parents may disagree about who will have legal and physical custody of their children, they should be able to work together to put their children’s best interests first. When doing so, they should consider recent research which shows that children often fare best in shared custody situations in which they spend near-equal amounts of time with each parent.

Research on Shared Parenting

Until recently, it was often considered best for children to primarily live with one parent after divorce, and experts believed that the stability of a single home was preferable to adjusting to living in two homes. However, a number of recent studies have countered these assumptions and found that children often benefit from sharing time with both parents. Findings of these studies include:

  • Regardless of the level of contentiousness between parents during their divorce, children in shared custody situations (in which they live with each parent at least 35% of the time) experienced less stress than those who live primarily with one parent.
  • When children live in shared parenting situations, they tend to have better relationships with their parents, step-parents, and grandparents.
  • Children in shared custody families show better academic achievement and emotional health.
  • Children in shared parenting situations experience fewer behavioral problems, such as juvenile delinquency, misbehavior in school, bullying, or use of drugs, alcohol, or tobacco.
  • While many believe that infants and toddlers should primarily reside with their mothers, studies found that their bonds with both parents do not suffer when mothers and fathers share overnight parenting time.
  • The level of parental conflict tends to be a separate issue from parenting time. Children experience benefits from shared parenting, even in high-conflict situations, including when one parent objects to a shared parenting situation.
  • The benefits of shared parenting are not related to parents’ income level.

Ultimately, shared parenting allows children to have a close, ongoing relationship with both parents, and the benefits of these bonds outweigh the problems caused by conflict between parents. While parents should strive to keep their children from being caught in the middle of their disagreements, they should also understand the importance of being a primary figure in their kids’ lives.


Contact a Los Gatos, CA Child Custody Lawyer

In modern divorces, child custody arrangements often reflect the nature of how today’s parents care for their children, with both parents participating closely in guiding their children’s development. At the Law Offices of Benita Ventresca, we can help you create a child custody agreement which will protect your children’s best interests and help them thrive following your divorce. Contact a Los Gatos family law attorney at 408-395-8822 to schedule a free consultation.

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California family lawyerChildren deserve to have their health and safety protected, whether they are at home, at school, or under the supervision of a daycare provider, coach, or doctor. In order to safeguard children from the threat of abuse, the state of California has put legal measures in place to ensure that potential cases of child abuse or neglect are reported and investigated. When a person is being investigated for suspected child abuse, they should understand the processes that will be followed, their rights in the investigation, and the potential outcomes.

Reports of Suspected Abuse or Neglect

According to the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), a person who reasonably suspects that a child has been the victim of abuse or neglect can make a report to a law enforcement agency. Certain “mandated reporters,” such as teachers, doctors, therapists, members of the clergy, or day care center employees, are required by law to make these reports.

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California family lawyerUnder California’s Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), certain people are required to make a report to law enforcement when they reasonably suspect that a child may be the victim of abuse or neglect. These reports will trigger an investigation, and if a social worker believes that there is evidence that the alleged abuse was likely to have occurred, they will forward the substantiated report to the California Department of Justice (DOJ), and the alleged abuser will be placed on the Child Abuse Central Index (CACI).

Being listed in the CACI can have a major impact on a person’s life, affecting their ability to find employment, serve as a volunteer, adopt a child, or act as a foster parent. Fortunately, California law provides people with the ability to dispute their inclusion in the CACI.

CACI Grievance Hearings

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California divorce lawyerWith Thanksgiving recently passing and the December holidays just around the corner, child custody and visitation issues may arise, especially if you, your ex-spouse or partner, and children will be celebrating separately for the first time. When these issues surface, it is imperative to clearly establish parenting time (sometimes termed “visitation”) through a formal plan.

When parents and children understand and can anticipate how and when parenting time is to occur, the stress and conflict associated with change and new arrangements will diminish rather than escalate. In meeting your child custody and parenting time needs, work together with an experienced Cupertino family law attorney.

A Parenting Plan Is a Custody and Visitation Agreement Between Parents

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Law Offices of Benita Ventresca

20 S. Santa Cruz Ave., Suite 212
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